WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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