I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
