Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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