My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
