Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
