With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize