She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
