This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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