walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
