I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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