I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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