In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize