i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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