Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
