Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I need moral support for this bender
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
