hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
