Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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