How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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