we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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