Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
