Will you blow on my dice?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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