So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
