Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
