Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
