That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My breasts were aching with rage.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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