I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
is wine microwaveable?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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