she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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