Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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