nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
