He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
