dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
