you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
