This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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