i permit you to call me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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