My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
