I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize