...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
