Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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