shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
