Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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