dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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