Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
