How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
