he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
