I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
