Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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