I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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