On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
