you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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