Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
