her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
