Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
