Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
