she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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