i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
