we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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