so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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