So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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